Jake to the rescue

Kelton woke up screaming this morning from a nightmare.  I go in to comfort him. "What's wrong buddy?"  "My lollipop is all gone!"  And he burst out in uncontrollable sobs.  "Oh no!"  I say secretly smiling, "What happened to your lollipop?"

"Captain Hook took it.  Captain Hook mean."  His cries grow louder.

"What color was your lollipop?"  I ask.  In between convulsing sobs, "Red.  Jake's lollipop orange.  I want my lollipop back!"

"I'm sorry your lollipop is gone bud."  Kelton starts calming down, and manages to say, "Jake will get my lollipop back."

Mustang Mile 2016

Another Mustang Mile is in the books!  We started out with the race which turned out to be a little wild.  I was holding the 4th grade sign to keep the big kids from stampeding the little kids, it was crazy windy and I had two tired boys.  McKenzie lined up with 1st grade and after they all took off I was hoping to watch them run.  Of course, Kelton needed to go potty at that very moment.  By the time we ran back outside I wasn't sure if I had missed them or not.  Cambrie dashed passed me at a blinding speed and I thought perhaps McKenzie had already gone by too since she has been doing running club and is pretty strong.  It took a few minutes but I eventually found both girls at the finish line.  They were pretty happy.  

The day before the 4th and 5th graders had done a time trial to see who would qualify for a district-wide cross country meet.  Surprisingly Cambrie claimed a spot!  She took 5th out of the 4th grade girls.  I always knew she was fast enough, but that day she decided she wanted it.  I think she had something to prove that night which is why she sped by so fast.

  After the run it was time for the games!  The girls ran off with friends while Kelton and I hung out inside for awhile bouncing on the bounce houses.  Waiting in line with Brody and Brayden.  

McKenzie joined us a little later.  It was chilly that night and I hadn't brought coats for anyone.  While we were waiting for the carnival games, the kids tried to keep themselves warm however they could.  

Cambrie appeared about half way through the night with her friends and a prize already in her hand.  I guess they combined their tickets to get everyone what they wanted.  

The end of the evening came quickly.  Kelton ended up with some binoculars, McKenzie had growing creatures, and Cambrie has a new bean bag lizard.  

That night we immediately put McKenzie's growing creatures in the tub.  It took three days for them to grow to their full size.  They checked on them all the time while they were growing wondering how big they were going to get.  They ended up pretty large.  I had three very happy kiddos as a result of the Mustang Mile this year.

Little leaves

It's fall when the leaves fall off our front tree.  It doesn't have enough leaves to make piles big enough to satisfy my girls, but the piles are just right for my boys.  

Kelton wanted to fall asleep on his bed of leaves.  I wish my camera had sounds so you could hear him snoring, "Honk-shoo.  Honk-shoo."

Q-tip lollipops

The price I pay in order to brush my hair and do my make-up in the morning is worth it. Ignore the mess behind the kid and just see how adorable he is.  

Dump the books

 My kids have a fascination with this book shelf.  Each kid around this time finds a new favorite game-dump the books!

Just one box of diapers!

Okay, I know I posted last year about how Kelton was potty training.  Well, he did really well for about three weeks then got sick for another three weeks.  Combine that with my pregnancy and a new baby...suffice it to say the diapers were back.  This is the first time that I've had two babies in diapers.  I didn't really feel like I was changing diapers all the time, so that wasn't what was killing me.  The most annoying part of having two babies in diapers was buying two boxes of diapers at Costco.  Throw one box in your cart and you don't have room for much else.  Throw in two boxes and it becomes a juggling act to just get those to the cashier without the ravioli, butter, Nutella, and gummies tumbling to the floor (forget the baby in the baby carseat that has nowhere else to go except to dangle from my arm).  So imagine my delight when I went to Costco and only had to buy one box of diapers!  Oh what a happy day!  The first week of school Kelton surprised me by wanting to go potty.  I humored him for about two or three days with gummy snacks after each successful round, but I wasn't prepared for it to actually stick.  He was getting A LOT of gummies.  So instead we came up with his sticker chart.  When I asked him what he wanted as a prize, he requested an orange monster cake.  Strange, still sugary, but easy to fulfill!  So for a week he filled up his sticker chart with just one or two little accidents.  I couldn't help but think, "This potty training thing isn't that bad!"  When he was ready, he was ready.  He redeemed his sticker chart the night before my surgery, so we had to do quick and easy cupcakes but he was thrilled.

Fast forward to now, about two weeks later and with my surgery thrown in, he's still doing well.  It was rough when I was resting most of the day in bed, but I think he's back.  Yippee and a happy dance!

No longer Gummy the Magnificent!

Look who has his first tooth!  It came as a complete surprise because my kids typically don't get their first tooth until they are almost one.  This might explain some of the grumpiness we've been dealing with,  but doesn't he look cute?!

Day 5

Today I received the call I had been dreading through this whole fiasco, two of the four nodules they removed are carcinomas.  I wish I could remember which kind of cancer the doctor was explaining they were, but I was just in disbelief that the worst cast scenario came true.  My 5.4 cm nodule, and my 1.4 cm were both diagnosed as PTC (don't ask me what that stands for, it's the only thing I can remember) by pathology.  This means another round of surgery in about a month.  This means I will most likely need radioactive iodine therapy at the end of it all.  This means routine lab work.  This means lifetime medication.  This means a rotten family history to pass on to my kids.  So now all of those "what-if's" I've been struggling with are now confirmed.  Ugh!  I was at the fabric store when I received the call from the surgeon so I couldn't scream, screaming would also really hurt my sore throat even though I really, really wanted to.  I'm mad.  I'm mad at my body.  I feel like it betrayed me.  I don't even want to think about the next four months.  I know I need to make some plans, but I'm done being cheerful and hopeful about this whole thing.  This is happening, and this really stinks.

Day 2

I don't think I've blogged much about the journey we've had with my thyroid.  I guess I've just been waiting for the end of the story to come because there have been too many "what-if's" and "then what's" to deal with.  The beginning of the story goes back to March when I went in for my six-week postpartum visit and my doctor found a lump in my throat.  I was nervous.  Lumps are never a good thing and the doctor wasn't exactly sure how to deal with it, which made me even more nervous.  First I went downstairs to have some bloodwork done because our best bet at the time was that I had an enlarged thyroid.  She also told me to sit back and wait because she didn't know which doctor to refer me to.  In the meantime I had an ultrasound on my neck.  The tech isn't supposed to diagnose, but she did tell me what she found, two large nodules on my thryoid.  I hate waiting on a good day, but I felt like this entire process tried my patience.  I had to wait nearly two months to see an endocrinologist to go over the ultrasound results with me.  The whole time I was worried.  If it wasn't cancer, then waiting wasn't really a bad thing.  If is was cancer then we were just giving it time to grow.  The day before I was scheduled to see the endocrinologist, they called to tell me there was a family emergence and I'd have to reschedule, for next month.  Ugh!  With some complaining they were able to get me in to see another doctor at another facility, but at least I only had to wait another two weeks.  That doctor didn't really have good news for me either.  He thought there was a very good chance that it was cancerous.  He took four biopsy samples and told me to wait up to two weeks for the results.  The first round came back inconclusive after only two days.  So while the news came quickly, it didn't answer what we hoped it would.  He sent a biopsy sample to a lab in Pittsburgh that does DNA marking which we hoped would tell us what we should do about these nodules.  The day I received the call saying that there was an 85% chance that the nodules were cancerous was not a good day.  I was mad.  I was sad.  I yelled.  I cried.  Now I know that if I'm to get any kind of cancer then thyroid cancer is probably the best one.  It is contained and easily treated.  But it doesn't mean my life won't be affected.  This is where the "what-ifs" and "then what's" come into play.  What if it is cancer and I have to have it removed?  What is the surgery like?  What is the recovery like?  What if the cancer is so big that I need to have multiple surgeries and a complete thyroidectomy?  What kind of medication will I have to take?  How will it affect me?  Will I feel like the same person?  What are the side effects of the medication?  Will I gain weight?  Will my anxiety return?  What if I need radioactive iodine therapy?  What am I going to do with my kids for a week while I'm radioactive?  How will it affect Daxton who won't be able to nurse anymore?  What about the scar I'm going to have forever across my neck like some beheading gone bad?  I'm too young to have scars like that.  I still want to be considered pretty and attractive, not marred by scars across my neck.  What if it effects me so much that I can't race and train like I want to be able to do?  If it is truly cancer then what does that do to my future health?  What kinds of follow-up tests will I have to deal with THE REST OF MY LIFE?!  

At this point I had a choice to make.  I could either leave the nodules alone. after all they are not that uncommon and a lot of people have benign nodules just hanging out.  Or I could go and have them surgically removed.  I already knew that I could feel the nodule when I swim blocking part of my airway.  I already knew that there was a good chance it would continue growing.  I already knew that my dad had thyroid cancer too which didn't help my odds.  And I already knew that I needed to have to surgery.  We scheduled a surgery consult...for a month later.  The surgery was then scheduled for...two months later.  There was so much waiting.  I hated every moment of it.  The timing of the surgery really wasn't horrible.  After all, school was back in session and we wouldn't be spending so much time outside doing wild things, so the recovery would probably be simpler.  But what if I needed to go in for another surgery?  What if...what if...what then?

Finally September 8th arrived.  My mom flew out to help while I recovered but I didn't even know what to expect.  How long could surgery on my neck put me out of commission?  What will be my limitations?  Well, now I can tell you.  The surgery went fine.  The doctor found four nodules in my left thyroid.  She palpated the right side to see if she could find any obvious nodules there but she couldn't.  Now I need to wait five days for the final pathology report then I will have a couple more "what then" questions answered.  It took me a long time to come out from the anesthesia.  I guess I don't do well going completely under.  And when I woke up I was in a lot of pain.  The surgery hurt so much more than I was expecting.  I feel a huge pressure on my neck that just hurts all the time, and I have a headache that just won't go away.  I don't want to take the oxycodon prescribed because I think it made me nauseous, and I want to be able to nurse.  Tylenol actually isn't that bad but it doesn't really make the pain go away like I would like.  But let's be honest here.  They sliced opened my neck, stuck a tube down my throat, and fiddled around while I was opened up.  Of course I'm going to be sore.  It is weird being able to walk around and use all of my limbs after surgery.  At times I almost forget I had surgery, unless I try to talk, swallow, turn my head, look up, lay down, bend down, cough, or look in the mirror and see my new Frankenstein scar.  

Wouldn't it be great if my story stopped here?  Wouldn't it be awesome if the pathology report comes back completely benign?  Wouldn't it be great if my right thyroid really picked up the slack and I wouldn't need to take any medication?  Wouldn't it be wonderful if I didn't have to go through this surgery again?  Wouldn't it be lovely if I wasn't radioactive for Thanksgiving?  I guess I'll find out in a week.

The Third day of Preschool

Yes, I know.  I'm supposed to be posting about the first day of preschool right?  Well, if you have more than one child you understand.  This picture is of Kelton on his third day of preschool.  I am doing a mommy-swap group with him twice a week.  The first week was my turn to teach and I was impressed by what I saw.  I've experienced this with all my kids so far, but I'm always surprised when I try to teach them something only to find that they already know it.  Kelton knows how to sit in circle time.  He knows how to participate in singing time.  He knows how to use glue, and scissors.  He knows that his name starts with the letter K.  And now he knows that A is for alligator.  It's not always easy teaching a bunch of crazy preschoolers, especially when it's their first year.  But I love teaching my kids.  Isn't he handsome?  I'm excited for this year for my little man.

Sunshine at the temple

My mom came out to help me with my surgery.  When we realized that she was here while the Fort Collins temple open house was going on, we picked up tickets to go while the girls were in school.  It was Kelton's second time going through and he was very excited.  He walked around this time pointing to all of the pictures of Jesus.  In the Celestial Room the two of us talked about how it feels like heaven in the temple and talked about how his heart felt like it was getting a hug.  It was a great little moment, after which he grabbed my hand and made me walk laps around the room with him.  Outside was a beautiful day, unlike our rainy visit last time and we were able to get some pictures.  The boys are being silly here with my mom, but I still see smiles!  

I tried to get a picture of the boys...but it looks like Daxton is trying to take out his brother and Kelton is smiling through the pain.  (It makes me smile but definitely not because it's a perfect picture).  

We were able to find someone to get a good group shot of us.  We're so lucky to have this temple close by!  It's beautiful.

Rainy afternoon walk

Somehow we finished eating dinner by 6:00 and had an hour before bedtime.  It was a beautiful night so we decided to take a family walk around the neighborhood.  We walked down on the trails by Legacy, Plaster Reservoir, and the gold course.  It felt great to be out with the kids..and they were all so happy!  On the way back home it started to rain.  Well, the boys didn't want anything to do with that so we took cover under a tree to wait.  Luckily it wasn't raining very hard or very long, but it was kind of a fun adventure!