I-80

We drive to Utah a lot.  I decided to count how many trips we've made out to Utah since we moved to Colorado in 2010.  I counted 45!  Holy cow!  I decided on the most recent drive home that we should probably document part of our travels since it's a major part of our lives.  Some of the trips have been south through Grand Junction, but most are across I-80.  That works out to roughly 500 hours driving through Wyoming!  (At this point Jeremy is pointing out that he had to make that drive to and from by himself once.  I feel no pity for his measly 20 hours of travel time.)  Anyway, the kids were wired on their way home and we stopped to get out some wiggles.  Yea for rocks.  I think my kids like them better than playgrounds.  I felt really bad ushering them back into the car for another four hours of driving.  

I also decided it's time to get a picture with the Welcome to Colorful Colorado sign.  I'll eventually get the Wyoming and Utah one too, but sunlight, weather, and kids' contentment are big factors to whether we stop or not.  Never fear, we'll see them again...many times.

BYU Commencement

So why did we make a super quick trip to Utah?  To see Uncle D graduate from BYU.  We thought Leesa and Lynette were crazy when they wanted to be at the Marriott Center two hours before graduation, but they were right.  The crowds were wild and if we had arrived just ten minutes later we wouldn't even have had seats!  While we waited for commencement to begin, Daxton walked up and down the stairs getting out his wiggles.  He slid down the banisters and found all of the letters he could printed on the steps.  He's really into letters.  It was really neat that Dantley and Cayde were able to walk together.  They've done everything else together as cousins, it appropriate that they did this too.  

Congratulations you two! 

Jordan River Open House

Our short trip out to Utah wasn't planned, which meant that I hadn't even thought about visiting the Jordan River Temple for the ongoing open house.  Not surprisingly, it wasn't very crowded in the middle of a school day, so we were able to get tickets and avoid the crowds.  It was a gorgeous day, and even our walk along the temple grounds were beautiful.  

Kelton wasn't sure what to think about the ladybug who wanted to be his friend.

I've only been inside the Jordan River Temple a couple times previously and honestly didn't remember too much of what it used to look like.  Leesa obviously noticed more changes, it being her home temple.  We both thought it was beautiful.  I enjoyed walked through the baptistry with Cambrie because she's getting closer to being able to go for her first time.  We talked more about how baptisms for the dead work and what she should expect when she gets to go next year.  

Inside the temporary visitor's center.

After the tour we had some boys who had some serious wiggles.  Luckily a large grassy lawn is perfect for that type of thing.

Can't complain about these cute kids sticking with me through eternity because of temples like this.

Flatirons Spring Flip

Finally!  After years of hard work and waiting McKenzie finally had her first gymnastics meet!  She's worked so hard to make it onto her gym's bronze team and now she gets to do the fun stuff!  At home she practices parts of her routines in her room or in the family room.  Of course, she says with a smile, it's not the same without the equipment.  We picked up her team uniform a couple weeks ago and McKenzie couldn't wait until it was time to wear it.  So many sparkles!  

I dolled her up then sent her out the door with Jeremy (I had a volleyball game and soccer game to go to with the other kids).  Jeremy sent me reports of how she was doing.  

I love seeing her smile down there when she thinks no one is watching.  

She scored a 8.65 on vault, 9.1 on beam, 9.1 on bars, and 8.7 on floor.  She was pretty proud of herself.  The icing on the cake was that she placed 5th on the beam and was awarded a medal at the end of the meet. She can't wait for her next meet in a couple of weeks.

Boys at the park

I have discovered one sure fire way of making Daxton happy, take him to the park.  I kid you not, we can spend hours there and he doesn't get tired of it.  He has recently discovered that he is brave enough for the tall slides, and absolutely loves them.  

He's still on the fence about swings.  Sometimes he thinks they're awesome, sometimes he is completely terrified.  He's also simply getting bigger and stronger so he's better able to climb everything.  Even though it's a little chilly now, at least all of the equipment isn't hot to the touch, so he just goes.  

Huggy Bear goes with us a lot of the time.  He loves this bear.  

And Kelton...it's probably a good thing he doesn't know just how often we go to the park while he's at preschool, because he's a regular monkey himself.  I can't wait for it to stop feeling like winter so we don't have to worry about jackets, wet slides, and wind!

Dude at the zoo

I decided to take this kid to the zoo while the other three were in school.  We went with a friend and it was nice spending the morning just chatting and walking.  Daxton really liked finding all of the animals.  I wanted to take some cute pictures of him there, but the trick was that I couldn't let him see my phone.  He is under the impression that it is his phone.  I really didn't want to spoil the morning by having a power struggle and temper tantrum involving my phone, so all you get are pictures of the back of this kid's head.  

I think the most exciting animal exhibit was the hippo enclosure.  As the hippo was walking around his space he came too close to what must have been a nesting mamma goose.  She went completely berserk and chased that giant hippo all the back into his pool squawking and flapping her wings.  That hippo turned tail and ran!  Even once he was back in the water he'd peek his eyes out to see if the momma goose was still standing guard.  She was.  She stayed there for about three or four minutes making sure that hippo knew who was boss.  It was hysterical!  You can barely see the eyes poking up in the pool.

We had time to squeeze in lunch before hoping back in the car.  Daxton has a strange quirk where he likes to eat his sandwiches open faced.  He licks off most of the stuff inside, or scoops it up with his fingers, before finally eating the bread.  It's a very messy way to do it, but it's still funny. 

Girls at night

Nothing fancy about this post, just showing how the girls are growing up.  Cambrie had a bunch of friends over Friday night for dinner, a movie and games.  They are growing up so fast!  I didn't want to spoil the moment by asking them to pose for me, so instead I just snapped this picture of the girls doing what they do.  We just found out that all of these cute girls will be going to the same middle school next year.  I'm crossing my fingers and praying that they'll be as good to each other during these middle school years as they have been in their elementary years.  I'm just so grateful they have each other!

The good, the bad, and the ugly

I keep this blog up and running to remember and to share.  But one of the biggest reasons why,  the one I don't really talk about,  is that it forces me to find joy in my life as a mom.   Being a mom is really,  really hard.  It just keeps getting harder and more draining.  There is always more that I need to do:  the laundry, tidy the house, do the dishes, pay the bills, keep the blog updated, keep the kids happy, teach them, read to them, play with them, make food ALL THE TIME.  The more kids I have the more the workload naturally increases: more school lunches, more homework, more activities,  more messes, more emotion, and so much more whining.  I am over it.  I can't stand it anymore.  I remember as a teenager that the sound of an alarm clock going off would cause me to feel sick because I heard it so often getting ready for swim team and school.  I'm to that point with whining or crying.  Even if I am in an emotionally stable state, as soon as I hear whining or complaining I completely lose it.  I can't stand it.  Any empathy I have goes into hiding and I don't care.  In fact,  I get angry.  Why can't these kids stop crying?  Just eat the dinner I prepared. I'm sorry, but you have to get in the car.  No,  it's not time to watch a movie.  You're bored,  so deal with it.  I want my kids to be independent.  They should be able to get food if they're hungry.  They should be used to driving to activities and it won't change.  They should be able to play with their toys and siblings instead of relying on me to provide the entertainment.  Yes,  I will provide some fun things for you to do, but it is not my job to keep you happy 24/7.  I am tired.  I am tired of them always needing me.  I know people say it goes fast and I'll miss this stage of life.  But let's be honest.  Every one of those people who say that probably struggled too but won't admit it.  I'm not a good cutesy, huggy mom. I'm just not.  I'm the mom who will take you skiing, take you on an airplane with me, play a real game with you,  take you to activities you love so you can excel, or make you go on adventures.  I'm not the mom who loves staying home every day doing puzzles, playing make believe, or playing the same game over and over again without any of the rules.  Maybe I used to be, but not anymore.  It's getting old.  Toddlers are not easy for me to deal with.  I don't know what they're saying.  I'm tired of the constant power struggles.  I'm sick of the messes.  I'm sick of being clung to and asked to hold them all the time.  It was easier for me to do this with fewer kids.  We were in Philadelphia and I had the support of a dozen other moms who were in the same situation.  Now all my friends have kids who are growing and busy like mine.  We don't have time to sit around and let our younger ones play.  I feel so alone.  It's exhausting feeling like I'm responsible for everything in my kids' lives.  I can't do it.  So instead of finding help and solutions,  I deal with it pushing aside the annoyance I feel by being stuck here until I explode and lock myself in my bedroom.  I wish I loved my job,  but I can't say that I do.  And that's another story entirely, the guilt of that statement.  I can't take it anymore!

Easter weekend

I had considered going back up to Keystone for Easter/Conference weekend, but decided to stay home and enjoy the simplicity.  In between the kids soccer games we needed to squeeze in an egg hunt.  Cambrie was too old to participate in the city hunt so she stayed at her game.  The other three kids were excited though.  I have never been to the Broomfield Eggstravaganza before so I didn't know what to expect.  It was crowded.  Kelton really wanted to see the Easter Bunny and we worked our way up to the front so Kelton could give him a high five.  

Over at the egg hunting zone we were shocked to see how small the hunting area was compared to how many kids were there.  There were three different zones, 3 and under, 4-6, and 7-8.  Since I had a kid in each age group I wasn't sure how I was going to be three different places at once.  Luckily they announced that they would release the groups one at a time so the parents could switch.  Kelton's job was to help Daxton collect candy and eggs since he was still so new at this.  It's a good thing I had a small helper.  The parents rushed the field with their small ones and there was no way I could reach the eggs.  Kelton, however, could squeeze in between the adult legs to fill Daxton's basket.  

Once the 3 and under group was done we turned around to find Kelton's group, only to discover that they had already gone!  Because of Kelton's good helping skills he forfeited all of his eggs.  We dashed over to McKenzie at the 7-8 group and just hoped they hadn't gone yet.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw eggs still sitting in the field.  Kelton lined up with McKenzie and seconds later the two of them dashed off.  

I told Kelton he would have to be really fast to keep up with the big kids and he did great.  They came back happy with their treasures.  

Back at home we turned on General Conference.  President Russell M. Nelson was sustained as prophet this weekend as well as two new apostles.  The entire conference was wonderful.  My kids set up their key word snacks and Cambrie added an addition this year where they had to do some small exercise after each treat: five sit-ups, ten jumping jacks, stand on one leg, etc.  It definitely kept their wiggles at bay!  

However, two hours is still a long time and they started playing dodgeball with their stuffed animals by the last talk. 

Since we wouldn't be attending church this week, I had the kids wear their Easter clothes the week before.  This is what they would have looked like Easter Sunday.  I can't get over my boys' bow ties and how big my girls are getting!  

Dying Easter eggs earlier this week was a success.  The kids just wanted to keep going. 

It was a trifecta of a Sunday.  Not only was it Easter and Conference, but it was also April Fool's Day.  The kids set up their stuffed animals all over the house.  They woke up in the middle of the night to move everyone into position.  It probably took them nearly an hour but it was fun to see the effort they put into it.   

I found creatures all over the place, especially in the kitchen.

The Easter Bunny left a scavenger hunt for the kids again this year, culminating with the kids finding their baskets out in the backyard.  They also found a smattering of eggs through the front and back yard.  

They were surprised to see that the Easter Bunny played a trick on them also.  instead of chocolates in the eggs, there were grapes in the chocolate wrappers.  

The kids received some fun new outside toys: bubbles, a jump rope, a football, and some chocolate bunnies that actually were chocolate.  Happy April Fools!  Happy Easter!  Happy Conference Sunday!