So that's that

I still don't know what to make of it, but I have stopped teaching water aerobics at the YMCA. I started looking at my schedule for this fall and realized that I had a lot going on-too much. I was teaching water aerobics three mornings a week, swimming lessons on Fridays, coaching swim team two nights a week, teaching preschool two mornings a week, and still have my Primary president calling. Oh ya, I'm still a mom and wife. It was getting too crazy. I didn't have any time available to run errands, breathe, do anything fun with Cambrie, or go to playgroup (basically mommy therapy with the cover of being beneficial for our kids).

I had a one-week trail period this past week of doing half of it, and I couldn't. It didn't feel right. Every time I though about going to teach water aerobics I felt kind of sick. It shouldn't cause that much anxiety. It's not because of the ladies in my class-who are wonderful, or leaving Cambrie with a sitter-they're great too, it was something else. I was stressing about it all week, but once I finally made up my mind about quitting, I felt so relieved. That has to be a good sign that it's right. I felt so much better and I hadn't even told anyone.

I went and told my boss last Friday what was going on-keep in mind that I have never quit a job before. Yes, I have moved or it's been a seasonal position, but never actually quit. It was really hard to tell them, "I'm sorry. I know you're counting on me to be here and teach these classes, but I can't do it anymore. I need to be home with my daughter. Our situation has changed and I realize now more than ever how precious time with my daughter is. I'm a mom before anything else." I still plan on being available to substitute classes and I can still do swim team at nights, but nothing else. To be quite honest, I think they were as surprised as I was that all of that was coming out of my mouth. It was so surprising that neither one of us knows if I'm teaching tomorrow morning or not. I guess we'll see huh? But I feel so much better. Yes, I feel really bad about abandoning the ladies who come to my class and gave me such excellent reviews, but this is right for my family right now. I hope they understand that. We'll see, maybe life will calm down later and I can teach there again. Until then though I am a less stressed out mom.